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Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Tuesday, March 4, 2014
Unfreeze (not quite a valentine)
What we did and would and could
What we should
What we did not and why
Which we couldn't
What she said What I said
What we did
How some words flick open, slip sharpened steel beneath the breastbone
How others encyst themselves and grow tumorous, stopping up the lungs
How what was fluid became solid
How the sea was covered in ice and the rain needled down, encasing the cars in brittleness
How a gesture incompleted never--
How stillness shattered
How the leg of a chair flung down
bounces but does not break
Notes
Images are of the West River in Sheet Harbour today as it roars between freeze and melt; the poem, a rough sort of sonnet, inspired by one of several exercises my students did several weeks ago, to "write out an argument." Here I was reaching for something that might, as a horoscope said a few weeks ago, "bless the messiness and largeness of desire." Love is never without its hard edges; what matters is that we survive (literally) our madness.
Saturday, March 24, 2012
Not Yet
We call Night the privation of relish in the appetite for all things.
John of the Cross, quoted by Roland Barthes, Fragments d'un discours amoureux
She dreams of a soft boiled egg.
The inaudible tear the yellow flood the
pouring tender not quite flesh on
crusty bread. The tang of cheese. Of
sourdough. Sharp scent of torn basil leaf. Creamy avocado
plucked from the tree that shatters its fruit
on the kitchen window.
Every possibility is in front of us then.
Every--
Thousands of days
filled with sunshine. And the rushing
sea.
filled with sunshine. And the rushing
sea.
And the wind, cool
on the nape of the neck.
on the nape of the neck.
Strong coffee in the afternoon.
A girl in striped pants. The sensation
of sand
between
your toes.
your toes.
How can it be afternoon?
So soon blue
.
.
She picks up her scarf.
Wait.
Don't go.
Not yet.
(This can't go on.
This--)
This--)
Not yet.
They sit on a grassy hill by the side of the road.
Cliffs tumble to the sea.
She pulls a bottle from the hamper,
breaks the crust of bread with her hands, her
red lips black, the
fading light.
red lips black, the
fading light.
Cool wind on the nape
of her neck.
of her neck.
She gathers her scarf.
(No. Who twisted
you;
you;
who
so that) I'll be leaving now
(who twists)
her posture
(someone is
going
going
away)
Oh please,
linger.
linger.
A thousand afternoons of light five
thousand ten:
twenty-eight years of days of
sand between your toes
of cobble beaches and
(sucking sounds)
rocks
they tumble
they tumble
(what we call night
what we call)
endless oncoming
(relish
what we call)
what we call)
waves
Here is my scallop bed,
here is my island.
Come
dive with me.
We paddle to the island; we
stand in shallow water; we pluck
stand in shallow water; we pluck
scallops, sucking out
flesh
(the inaudible tear the sudden
flood the
flood the
pouring)
salt bathes
her tongue,
her tongue,
the afternoon shimmers
glimmers, tumbles--
oh,
glimmers, tumbles--
oh,
the failing
light.
Wait.
Don't (who has
who has
twisted
you around like
who hastwisted
you around like
)
Don't. Not yet. Not
(who
so that in part-
so that in part-
ing
)
While there is still
light (while those,
le
le
stelle) while those
stars still shine
still (lucevan
)
into
night
She
shines (seashells) she turns
(on the seashore) she
stops (seashells) she
lingers
(on the seashore) she
stops (seashells) she
lingers
she (seashells)
winds her scarf
she sings
(le
stelle) in
her sleep
her sleep
Notes
Quotations are distortions of phrases from:
St. John of the Cross via Roland Barthes, Fragments d'un discours amoureux
Rilke's Eighth Duino Elegy, trans. Stephen Mitchell in The Selected Poetry of Rainer Maria Rilke, (New York: Vintage: 1984), 197 and
Puccini, E lucevan le stelle, sung by Beniamino Gigli, 1938
Photos are from this album: "Taylor Head Barachois," http://www.flickr.com/photos/karincope/sets/72157629294954786/
This poem was my response to an exercise I set my Strategic Fictions class. We read--and looked at--various love stories as models for our own writing. I asked them to think about the following questions:
Why, when we think of love and writing, do we so often think of poetry? Is it because poetry is a kind of writing where not simply each word, but each beat, each syllable, each space and line break count? Poetry (and love) both call for precision it seems—and sometimes, though not always, an economy of gesture. But perhaps we think of poetry and love together too, because what we wish of each is a delightful surprise of the ear. And what do we reap? Often, too often, dissonance, boredom, waiting, rhythms utterly out of step…We also tend to repeat clichés, and others’ words, over and over. Is there a way, nevertheless, to make such suspensions, such repetitions, work?
I do not know if I have succeeded. But as I tell my students, what is most important is to try.
Thursday, August 26, 2010
There Where You Are Not
The hardest thing about death is the way your senses are trailed by ghosts.
For a very long time, maybe forever, a dead one whispers into your surround and you think you see this one, there, over there. Or you pick up the drift of her scent, the timbre of his voice. The corners of your eyes, the backs of your ears, the edges of your palate, sometimes even the insides of your elbows are in haunting collusion with the dead; together they conspire to keep you on the switchback between sudden hope and crushing sorrow. Even today, nearly 15 years after my friend died in an airplane crash, I sometimes think I see him, in a city where he'd never been, striding down the street in a lemon yellow raincoat, hair flapping over his eyes, grizzled rain on Halifax sidewalks.
Love conjures these ghosts; we look for those we miss everywhere. Unceasingly, as if in prayer.
We returned from Mexico to a house without Linus, but her shade is with us still, in every creak and crack and wail and cranny of the house, in sunbeams and on blankets, in our gestures and responses, our habits of listening, of moving; she remains sewn through the motions and spaces of our daily living.
We will learn new habits, but we will never entirely lose the spectral sense of emptiness that particularizes these places, here, there, where she was and is home no longer.
This is how we feel the proximities of each death: again and again, our hearts rent like fabric, a patchwork of tearing that can only continue until we too, will die.
Images
Linus spaces: chair and blanket, sunbeam and radiator, edge of the bath, food dish for raw liver, chair and bear, cat-clawed chair
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